The Last Post!

We arrived at Calais with only minutes to spare, however it seemed that everyone else had cut it fine too.

"Oh well, if we miss this ferry there will be another in an hour and a half." Sighed Bob.

"No, we can't miss it we were here on time, it's not due to leave for another forty-five minutes. It's not our fault they are taking so long to check tickets!" By now I just wanted to get home.

As we sat in the queue a security guard waved us over to a newly opened kiosk, what a stroke of luck. I looked in my rear view mirror and there was a free for all of vehicles behind us hoping to pass through passport control more quickly in this queue. Bob had opened all of the pet passports on the relevant pages to help speed up the process. I handed them to passport control.

"Bonjour!" I chirped, tittering to myself that this could be my last ever "bonjour."

"Allo!" He replied in a rather superior manner and he promptly pulled down his shutter.

We sat and we waited, five minutes passed and there was no movement from within the kiosk. Ten minutes passed and still nothing. Cars behind us started reversing and joining other queues.

"There must be a problem with one of the passports." Bob said, holding his head in his hands.

"There can't be." I replied. "You've checked them umpteen times and the vet in Beaumont has checked them."

"Well why else is it taking so long? It's got to be the passports! God we won't be able to leave France!" Snapped Bob.

We sat in silence.

Fifteen minutes passed and the kiosk door flew open. The guard was holing a micro-chip scanner and out pet passports.

"Do zee dog first." He instructed.

Bob held the scanner over Muffin, it bleeped and showed his chip number. The guard compared it to his passport. Muffin was home and dry.

"D'accord, now zee cats."

"Beep," Patapouf was safe. Bernie blind cat, "Beep," he was coming home too. Three down and only Cuddly Dudley to go. Bob held the scanner over Dudley..............silence, nothing happened no beep, no nothing. Bob kept trying, but the guard was becoming impatient.

"It's slipped to the right." I remembered just in the nick of time. Bob moved the scanner down the right had side of Dudley's neck and there was the most wonderful "bleep" we had ever heard. Our shoulders dropped about six inches and the guard instructed us to wait in lane ninety-four. We were sandwiched between coaches and mini-buses, all with engines running. Muffin started to shake, he's a country dog and not used to heavy traffic and it's noise. We tried to calm him, but he started to dig obsessively in the car. Bob opened his vet box and handed me a sedative to give to him. After twenty minutes he started to relax a little. We thought it best that he should go in the cage with the cats, just in case he dug the car to pieces or managed to break open the cage of the rabbit and G-P. Our lane started to move and we followed the traffic. We were on board at last, we settled the animals and made out way to the cafe.

"Did you do that on purpose with Dudley?" I asked.

"NO! I genuinely forgot his chip had moved."

"Were you miffed when we found it?" Bob had always teased me, that Dudley wasn't worth bringing back.

"No. But I was miffed that we found Bernie's.

We sighed, great sighs of relief, put our feet up and enjoyed the rest of the crossing. Next stop "HOME."

That was my 101'st post and my last as "Lehners in France," so what could be better for a post of that number than a dalmation and a very young Bob. This award, "The Spot On Blogger" goes to anyone who reads my last post and leaves a comment. I will take that as an invite to to visit your blog as my new personna. Who will I be and will you recognise me by my comment I wonder?

Merry Christmas everyone and a very healthy and happy 2009 from "The Lehners in France."